I recently spent 5 days praying for nothing but mercy. In that short time span, our family had 2 ER visits, 1 surgery, 3 stomach bugs, 4 hours of IV fluids for our baby girl, and almost 0 hours of sleep. It was crazy. One day, my husband suddenly needed and had an appendectomy. A few hours later, our daughter came down with the dreaded bug. From that time on, I was terrified that my post-op hubby would get the bug from our kids. I begged God for mercy by the minute, hoping that no one else would get it.
And I really believed that no one else would. I’m talking, I prayed like crazy. So when another child caught the bug each day, I was upset, exhausted, and feeling my faith tested. (I know it’s lame that something so trivial tested my faith but what can I say? I’m weak.) I found myself saying to God, “I really thought you would protect us from this. Why is another kid sick right now? Why another sleepless night? Why another empty bottle of Lysol wipes?” I even felt myself getting a little mad. I had prayed in faith, expectantly, and God didn’t answer my prayer to stop the bug. So in my frustration, I just stopped praying. I felt like it hadn’t made a difference anyway.
In the midst of this, I went to read my Bible and “accidentally” went to the wrong place. Instead of Psalm 23, I went to Psalm 123. Here’s what it says…
To You I lift up my eyes, O You who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God til He has mercy on us.
The phrase, “til He has mercy on us” was such a sweet one to read at that moment. It was like God was saying to me, Don’t think I haven’t answered your prayer for mercy. I have more mercy than you can even dream and so much that you are now experiencing. My well of mercy never runs dry and don’t give up asking me for it. To give up asking is to give up knowing how deep my mercy is.
The Psalm continues,
Have mercy upon us, O LORD, have mercy upon us, for we have had more than enough of contempt. Our soul has had more than enough…
Yes, my soul felt like it had “more than enough” in those 5 days. But God’s Word again brought me back to Himself. His Word ended my stubborn strike on prayer. His Word understood how I felt and drew me deeper into relationship with Him.
I’m now convinced that I’ll never see the bottom of His well of mercy. Thank you kind Father.