There is just nothing like walking with Lord. His plans so often surprise, stretch, interrupt, and change me in the best of ways. Here is His latest surprise to us – our family is expecting our 4th child! We are very excited and have already felt our hearts expand in ways we could have never imagined. The story of this little one is so amazing to us that I just have to share it here. (Warning – it does contain some girly details, so men, you may want to have your lady summarize for you!)
After much conversation, Andrew and I decided about a year ago that we were done having kids, feeling very thankful for the 3 we’ve been given. We gave away pretty much all of our baby stuff and began planning our future as a family of 5. After my concussion last Fall, we were told I could not have more kids because my female cycle was severely disrupted from the injury. And if future kids were a desire, it would definitely not happen for a while. He said it was not abnormal for this to happen since hormones are controlled by the brain. It would just take time for things to hopefully return to normal. Andrew and I discussed how devastating that news would have been if we didn’t have our 3 kiddos already and praised God for His timing of my injury.
At 6 month post-concussion, things in this area were still far from normal. On a Monday in March, I returned to my Doctor for a check-up. Without going into too much detail, he concluded through my check-up that I had not ovulated since my injury. He put me on one month of birth control to see how my body would respond. Now those who know me, know that I’m kind of anti-medicine. I talked about this with my Doctor and it seemed to us that this was almost a necessary, last-ditch effort. So from Monday until Thursday, I agonized about taking the medicine. I did not want to do it but I also was tired of feeling the symptoms of super messed up hormones. So on Thursday night, I took the first pill and went to bed.
That night was one of the most fitful nights of my life. I slept horribly. I had terrible nightmares. I woke repeatedly with a feeling that something wasn’t right. In the morning, I finally got out of bed, praying for the Lord to help me interpret and recover from the night. Still with the strong message that something wasn’t right, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I knew there was no possible way I could be pregnant but it was something I needed to check off my list just to ease my mind. Surprisingly, I already had one at home, took it, and even more surprisingly – it was positive! In disbelief, I went to tell Andrew and he totally thought I was losing my mind. In his normal, gentle way, he assured me that there was no way I could be pregnant and the test was probably a weird result of all that my body had been through over the past months.
So I called the Doctor that Friday morning, and they asked me to come in (for what would make the 2nd time that week). At my appointment, the result was confirmed that I was indeed expecting again! My Doctor, who knew my history well, even asked in wonder, “How did this happen?” A quick ultrasound gave us an estimated due date (December 2015). From the first second of knowing about this child, he or she was both welcome and wanted. It just took us a little bit to adjust to the shock. We look back at ourselves and laugh at how we were for those first few days. Andrew kept sending me texts that he was nauseous and couldn’t focus and I was pretty much in the same boat. I’m kind of laughing at us even as I type this!
So, this is our concussion baby… a child who probably wouldn’t have come without this giant disruption in my body’s cycle, a child given to us against all odds. We pray that this baby is healthy and that the pregnancy continues uncomplicated. As we pray, we also know that God is in control with His giant, baffling (to my human mind) plan and beg for the grace to rest and trust in Him.
It’s funny how some of life’s hardest things can result in some of life’s most beautiful things. Only God could do that.